Diary of a 1L
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Thursday, December 11, 2003
10:47 AM

All of the sudden, I feel like I'm not ready for tomorrow's exam again. This is basically because I'm too tired to think and I want it to be vacation already. It could be that I've already studied enough and I'm ready to go and more cramming my head won't work, and neither will more practicing doing the stuff I'll be doing tomorrow at exactly this time. Practicing is hard because you know in the end it's just practice.

I've been daydreaming about all the great classes I can take and boring classes I can avoid if I decide right off the bat that I'm definitely not going to take the bar. It seems like if you actually want to be a lawyer, your schedule is set in stone not just for your first year, but more or less forever. Folks, I need to learn more stuff. I just can't see letting all the calculus I learned go to waste, for example. I want to teach. I want to write. I want to entertain people. I want to be creative. I want to help people solve their problems. On the other hand, I don't want to starve because I'm unemployable, and I guess that's why I'm here.

At the same time, I've been immersed pretty much all the time in an environment where everybody assumes that we all have the same goals and we're all trying to end up in the same place. It's important for me to step back every once in a while and remind myself why I'm here and what I want to do.

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