How did I know that a rap song called "Hotel" would contain the words "hotel, motel, Holiday Inn (say what?!)"? There's probably a formula here: originality is inversely proportional to the cash value of the jewelry that appears in the video.

Meanwhile, I came up with my ideal presidential candidate: Andrew Tobias! That guy is awesome! "The Best Little Boy in the World" and "TBLBITW Grows Up" were the best and least pretentious books I read in my Bert Cohler class. Then, all the of the sudden, I realized: Andrew Tobias. As in Andrew Tobias's Managing Your Money. So he's funny, smart, iconoclastic, a great writer, an inexorable promoter of no-fault auto insurance (boo trial lawyers!), and an erstwhile purveyor of Apple II software! What's not to love?! Tobias '04! Well, or maybe '12, let's take care of business this year first. How about an Andrew Tobias/Garrison Keilor ticket?