Diary of a 1L
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Monday, September 13, 2004
8:09 AM

I Am Somebody Else #2

Dear K,

Please come visit us at our new cafe. My wife and I have been utterly crazy the last few weeks getting the place ready to open, but finally things appear under control and tomorrow is the big day. We've been extra crazy because we've been moving into the apartment above the storefront. That's right, we're going to have a very short commute.

What's the place going to be like? Well, we'll have your basic coffee, hot chocolate, frozen drinks and whatnot. We'll have little sandwiches. We have a freezer so we can sell ice cream, popsicles, and some homemade goodies. We have lots of comfy couches and chairs, mostly culled from garage sales but cafefully cleaned up, and lots and lots of bookshelves. It's a big relief to get some of my stupid books out of our living space. I'm not sure who is going to be particularly interested in my long-neglected copy of Modern Astrophysics, but you never know.

The thing we're most excited about is the stage. Mostly, we're going to have music. We'll kind of build up through the week: Tuesdays we'll have an open mic, Wednesday is karaoke, Thursdays we'll have jazz, Friday is all-ages punk rock night (wish me luck), and Saturdays we're going to try to get some name bands and really pack the place. Mondays we'll do stand-up comedy, and I may not be able to reserve myself (maybe dodging tomatoes once or twice will disabuse me of this folly).

Wifey and I are excited. Really excited. Somehow, despite our combined technological know-how, it took us an hour to set up the cash register. But when we were done, we were so happy that we started making out, right there behind the counter. That was awesome.

Maybe we should be concerned whether the place will succeed at all. But we're counting our chickens and hoping for big financial success real soon so we can start having babies. It's not out of the question: we have a great location and we're saving a little overhead by having me do the contracts and real estate stuff. All I can say is that we're ready to be Mommy and Daddy right now, it's just our bank account that's not ready.

So we hope you can come and see us. We have a spare bedroom that's quite decently clean and a hand-me-down bed that we're hauling up here next weekend. I know you've never really had any reason to travel to Columbus before, but if even a little bit of our enthusiasm rubs off on you, you'll have a really great time. I don't want to be overdramatic and call it a dream come true, but there's really no other way to describe it.


Definitely a happier story.

Wow. Just what the world needs, yet another fucking coffee shop. Did you find your muse at Starbucks? Come on Mike, you can do better.
To the person who wrote the mean comment: Don't you get it? This would not be another coffee house but rather a place for people to go and hear/see good entertainment. I think it's a great idea- especially to mix the different types of music, stand-up comedy, and more.

Neat story!

Nothing mean about the comment, unless you consider criticism mean.

This fantasitical place sounds a lot like a bar except you are switching alcohol for caffiene and throwing in books. And what is up with your character getting it on after figuring out the cash register? It is not that great of an accomplishment; McDonald's guy doesn't spike your change and do a little shimmy after helping you. Married people don't do that sort of thing, they would probably be bickering about who's fault it was for the machince not working. Then they might have makeup sex, but it is doubtful.

If this is going to be a happening place, isn't there a better place to raise a child than directly above it? Last time I checked, you want baby to get some quiet so it can sleep. Nothing quite like "punk rock night" to get Mike Jr. to go night-night. Seems problematic to live above the space, I would just rent it out instead.

Come on Mike, you can do better.
Two things:

1. If "mostly culled from garage sales but [b]cafe[/b]fully cleaned up" was intentional, I think that's pretty funny - if it's a typo, I'd fix it.

2. Will there be a giant tv for televising Saints games?
Sweet baby swans, we can't use [b][/b] on this site?
Cafefully...[b]good catch.[/b] I think I'll leave it for prosperity.

I'll do something different next. I'm sorry you hate cafes.
I think the phrase is "leave it for posterity." Unless you're slickily being ironical and all, you know.
Good catch, [b]again![/b] You must be a lot slickier than am I.
In your next post, you should try being a woman.
Now I'm wondering how well the café does financially... Will we get any sequels?

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